Have you ever noticed that when you’re experiencing relationship difficulties, everyone around you becomes a relationship expert? Friends, family members, and coworkers — the onslaught of well-intentioned relationship advice seemed to come from every direction. And, in most cases, the contradicting counsel you hear leaves you more perplexed than you were before you brought it up with any of them.
With the abundance of information available to us today, seeking counsel can seem daunting. To simplify what can be a confusing area of life, we’ve compiled the greatest relationship advice from around the world in one spot.
It is far more convenient to point fingers than to investigate our behavior. And that is precisely what over 80% of couples who enter couple’s therapy do: they blame their partner for their difficulties. It’s a straightforward truth that takes time to grasp, but we are powerless to influence anyone but ourselves.
Therefore, if the primary source of conflict in your relationship is communication, improve your communication skills. If you want to increase your partner’s affection, shower them with hugs and kisses. Although most relationship issues are more complex and cannot be readily simplified, beginning with an internal shift – and moving away from the easiness of blame – is a beneficial place to start.
How frequently have you heard someone in a relationship say, “he makes me feel so horrible about myself” or “she makes me so angry”? The truth is that nobody can make you feel anything.
Accepting responsibility for how you feel is entirely up to you. This is a critical component in claiming your power. Almost everyone has granted someone else control over their feelings, thoughts, or behaviors at some point in their lives. Accepting responsibility for your feelings is the most efficient strategy to maintain your power.
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Not only do we communicate in unique ways, but we also experience love uniquely. One person’s method of giving and receiving love may be opposed to that of the other. Because we typically give love in the same way we get it (because that is our love language), we frequently do not give love in the manner our spouse or partner prefers to receive or feel loved.
We all have unique experiences with love, and without knowing these nuances, it’s easy to do it wrong while demonstrating your concern.
It’s important to realize that there are moments when we are simply unable to communicate rationally with our partners. HALT is an abbreviation that is easy to remember: Hungry, Angry/Anxious, Lonely, Tired. At times, our emotional resources are depleted, we are agitated or anxious, and we lack the capacity for interest or empathy. This is important to remember when deciding when to have important talks – ensuring that both parties are rested, reasonably relaxed, unaffected by drink, and have had time to ponder what they want to say. This increases your chances of successfully resolving issues and obtaining a favorable outcome.
Consider trust as the foundation of your connection and your relationship as the home. You cannot construct a house on unsteady ground, and you cannot have a relationship unless both parties trust one another completely. If you violate trust, you must work twice as hard to earn it back from your spouse, and nothing else matters until you do. If you have it, maintain it by being upfront, honest, and open with one another daily.
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