Why Dating Sucks

Welcome to the topic “Why Dating Sucks.”

Even though it has become easier than ever to meet potential partners, somehow dating has become just as problematic. For a single person trying to find someone they can be with, the whole dating process can be confusing and tiring. Plus, the shift that has occurred due to technology and the internet has made it even worse.

Here are a few reasons why dating sucks:

Meeting People

In today’s modern dating world, mostly everyone relies on the internet to meet someone they can hang out with. Even if your friend introduces you to someone, the first thing you’ll do is stalk them on social media. Due to this, people have become pickier in choosing who they want to date. Plus, the swipe feature on popular dating apps like Tinder or Bumble is appealing to the youth as they can instantly connect with a suitable match. They only swipe profiles that seem perfect to them.

Awkward First Dates

The first date with someone can usually be a little uncomfortable since you both barely know each other. This could get even worse if you both have nothing in common to talk about. Moreover, most people feel anxious because they’re trying to anticipate what might happen next. This makes it even more difficult to enjoy and have a fun time.

Everyone Settles for Low-Effort

Another reason why dating just isn’t the same anymore is that no one wants to put in the effort, which makes it incredibly dull. It has become normal for people to search for a physical connection instead of an emotional one. That is why people now have low standards, and settle for anyone who is available. Additionally, everyone seems to run away from commitment these days and is only looking to “hook up”.

Playing Mind Games

The most frustrating part of dating is that most of the time, people are playing mind games. We have overcomplicated the smallest of things because everyone wants to appear effortless. Thus, people overthink about sending a text so many times before they can finally press “send”. Moreover, many people try to play hard to get and send mixed signals because they don’t want to look ‘too eager’. These head games are especially common in the initial phases of dating since both individuals are unsure about where the relationship is headed.

Moving On

Since most people don’t give themselves time to heal from a breakup and try to jump right into a new relationship, they can still be hung up on their ex even if they start dating someone new. This can make dating even more complicated, especially if the other person was genuinely looking for something serious. Thus, the new relationship will be off to a bad start since one person hasn’t moved on from their previous one.

 

Navigating the dating world can be weird and complicated, but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it. Even though you might have to date a ton of other people until you actually find a decent person you can be with. It’s still quite possible for you to meet your better half. Thus, you shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Always remember to choose someone that makes you happy.

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When God Leads You to Divorce

Welcome to the topic When God Leads You to Divorce.

Religious people believe in God’s will and the fact that whatever happens in their life is predestined. So, there might be many instances when you think God redirected your life so that you would make this decision. Similarly, if you make the mistake of committing a sin, your mind may justify it by imagining that it was God’s hand at work. However, even though God has power over your life, there are some things that you absolutely cannot do in His name.

 

If your relationship has failed, and you’re thinking of getting a divorce, you might assume that it is God who led you to this decision. You need to realize that it’s wrong to have this mindset since humans will be held accountable for their own actions, which they take against the scripture. As a wife or a husband, you’re instructed to follow the principles set forth by God to keep your Holy union happy and healthy. Although humans are bound to falter, some mistakes can end your marriage, and you’ll be the only one responsible.

 

Here are some of the changes that God will not make in your marriage:

God Will Not Lead You to be Unfaithful

When you meet someone you like while being unhappy in your marriage, you might start spending more time with that person instead of going home to your spouse. Since this will lead to heartfelt conversations and exchange of compliments, it’s obvious you’ll develop feelings for them. At this point, you may start having doubts about staying in your current relationship. Consequently, these romantic emotions will result in thoughts like “Maybe I’m meant to be with this person.” or “God has made us cross paths and wants us to be together.” These thoughts are completely false since God would never provide you with an opportunity that can shatter your relationship.

God Will Not Cause Distance

Maybe at the start of your marriage, you and your spouse shared the same dreams, views, and perspectives on life, but now one of you has changed. It’s possible that you have grown to be more religious over the years while your partner has not. Due to this difference in the levels of spirituality, your bond might not be the same. While it’s essential to be on the same page as your partner, divorce is not the answer in case differences or difficulties arise.

 

Since God is not in favor of a marriage ending, He is not the one who has caused this strife. However, the Lord doesn’t condone this act and forgives someone who has suffered from divorce. Additionally, He can also heal the person who has gone through a separation, but He’s definitely not the one who caused it.

 

God loves you and wants you to have a spouse that treats you right and commands you to treat your spouse the way they deserve to be treated. Moreover, He wants you to grow your relationship with Him while also strengthening your marital ties. So, while the Lord does not cause your relationship to fail, He can answer your prayers and heal your broken marriage.

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Also Read: What is Second Base in Dating

What is Dating?

Welcome to the topic What is Dating?

Dating generally means the romantic involvement between two individuals to assess each other’s suitability as a prospective partner for a more serious relationship or marriage. However, nowadays, the word dating means many things which has made it ambiguous and, thus, complicated to define. Different people use different phrases for this kind of togetherness such as, ‘going out’, ‘seeing someone’, or ‘having a thing’.

 

In the initial stage of dating, both people enjoy each other’s company but might not be sure about the future or their feelings for each other. This could either lead to them being in a committed relationship or simply parting ways because it didn’t work out between the two. Despite the possibility of heartbreak, many people prefer to date before starting a serious relationship. Apart from the purpose of getting to know each other, people also date for enjoyment.

 

Even though ‘dating’ is typically part of Western culture, it has gained popularity all over the world in recent years. Additionally, online dating has made it easier for people to connect even if they’re many miles apart. It all comes down to whether you’re interested in seeing if there’s a future or not, yet this whole process doesn’t guarantee exclusivity. More importantly, intentions play a significant role in dating. How you define your relationship depends on what you expect from it. Either the individuals might just be interested in hooking up and having a fun time, or they might have the goal of establishing a more serious and dedicated relationship.

 

The whole dating process involves different phases, and it’s essential to fully experience and process each phase since they provide an opportunity for personal growth or allow to make a healthy evaluation of where the relationship is headed.

Phase 1

The first phase is one in which both parties get to know each other. It can also be called the ‘zero commitment phase’ as both individuals are free to date other people as well. In addition, the physical contact at this stage is often limited.

Phase 2

During this phase, the element of attraction between the couple rises, with them preferring to spend more time with each other. This means more communication and physical contact.

Phase 3

This stage marks the beginning of a solid relationship. One that is followed by introduction to friends and family, using labels and being identified as a couple by others. This honeymoon phase involves being more romantic to your partner and making efforts to spend more quality time together.

Phase 4

In the fourth stage of dating, couples accept each other’s flaws and decide to look past them with the decision to commit to each other. This commitment phase is accompanied by emotional intimacy as both partners share their dreams with each other and try to align their goals with that of their partner’s.

Phase 5

If the couple has made it to the final stage of dating, it means they’ve ultimately decided to pledge a lifelong commitment to each other. Thus, they take things to the next level through engagement or marriage.

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Also Read: What are the Bases in Dating

What are the Bases in Dating

Welcome to the topic “What are the Bases in Dating.”

There are a lot of lingos and terminologies used when it comes to relationships and dating. You might’ve heard the phrase “bases,” in which people measure their relationship. This term is a baseball metaphor used to describe how far you’ve gone in being physically intimate with someone. To understand these euphemisms, you need to know about the basics of the sport of baseball if you don’t already.

Basics of Baseball

If you’ve never played or watched baseball, it can be complicated to understand. However, instead of getting into the details of the game, you just need to know where the bases come into play.

The pitcher throws the ball up at the batter, whose job is to hit the ball as far as possible. There are three bases and a home plate, and points are scored by making runs around these bases and returning to the home plate. If the pitcher successfully makes it back to the home plate, it’s called a home run, and the team wins. It’s unclear how this analogy of bases became intertwined with the physical involvement with someone, but it dates pretty far back.

 

The definitions of these bases are not fixed and are mostly up to interpretation, but there is a general understanding of each:

First Base

The starting point of a physical relationship is the most innocent of the romantic actions, that is, kissing. While this can include only mild kissing, it usually means French kissing or making out. First base is a pivotal moment since most people gauge their physical chemistry based on it.

Second Base

The first base leads up to meaningful touches and entering into a more sensual territory. The second base involves intimately petting above the waist or groping the butt. It includes touching or fondling areas like the chest or nipples, either above or below the clothing. It may also involve stroking or sensually touching the erogenous zones like ears, lips, or breasts.

Third Base

The third base marks the entrance into a new territory. It can be vague for most people but mainly involves stimulation below the waist. It involves direct contact with genitals and pertains to touching or feeling the penis, clitoris, testicles, or even fingering the vagina. Oral stimulation, more commonly known as oral sex, is also considered a part of the third base. This leads to the final stop of reaching home base.

Fourth Base

The fourth base, known as the home run or home base, is the most universal of all the bases. Since it only means one thing, and that is sexual intercourse. Like in baseball, the objective is to reach the home plate. Similarly, in a physical relationship, penetrative sex is the ultimate form of sexual intimacy. It is defined as the act of genital interaction.

 

Now that you’ve understood how these bases are used as a code to talk about sexual experiences. It’s really important to ensure that you’re comfortable with each other before moving onto each stage and keep in mind to communicate before progressing into the final base.

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Also Read: How to Get Spouse to Move out During Divorce

Tips for Dating Someone New

Welcome to the topic “Tips for Dating Someone New.”

Dating someone new can be an exciting and thrilling phase of your life. You might’ve met them online or through mutual friends and probably share some common interests with them. The beginning of a relationship can be fun, accompanied by a whirlwind of emotions and possibilities. However, a new relationship can get confusing and become tough to navigate. It could leave you feeling anxious about messing things up, especially if you like the other person a lot. So it would help if you avoided certain mistakes to turn your relationship into a long-lasting one.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you’re starting out with a new significant other:

Stay Curious and Listen Attentively

You cannot connect with someone on a deeper level if you don’t pay attention to them. You can only get to know and understand your date by listening to what they say and observing what they do. Ask them questions about their life and show genuine interest in their answers. By feeling heard, your partner will find it easier to open up to you.

Don’t Let the Past Affect your Present

It’s normal for past experiences to shape the way you trust people. It’s possible for you to have fears and doubts because of a negative experience you had in your previous relationship. However, remember that each individual and relationship is unique. Instead of drawing comparisons, focus on the qualities of your new partner.

Don’t Ignore the Red Flags

At the start of your relationship (the “honeymoon phase”), you’re mostly focused on their positive traits. However, if you notice something is wrong, you should listen to your gut feeling. It’s easy to ignore the red flags when you’re blinded by love and excitement. But doing so will only prolong the breakup that had to happen eventually.

Communication is Key

The initial stage of your relationship is particularly important in terms of defining your future together. It’s natural to have disagreements with your partner. But what makes those arguments unhealthy is miscommunication and destructive behavior like yelling and fighting. To work through your problems, use the right communication tools and talk it out with each other instead of immediately complaining to your friends.

Don’t Lose Yourself

When you start dating someone new, it’s totally normal if you feel the need to spend all your time with them. But it’s not healthy for you or your relationship to lose yourself in it. Try to have a balance by spending some time apart and focusing on your own work and interests. Additionally, maintaining your sense of independence is really important for your self-development.

Enjoy Your Time

Worrying about the future or any other irrational fear can take away the carefree excitement that comes with new relationships. It’s normal to feel reluctant to trust and be vulnerable, but don’t let those doubts come in your way of being present in the moment. Focus more on making new memories and having fun. Remember that everything works out the way it’s meant to.

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Also Read: My Husband Wants a Divorce but I Don’t What Can I Do

My Husband Wants a Divorce but I Don’t What Can I Do

Welcome to the topic “My Husband Wants a Divorce but I Don’t What Can I Do.”

Whether the news of your husband wanting a divorce came out of the blue or you had been sensing it for years, but didn’t think that your spouse’s complaints might actually end up leading to a divorce. You might be feeling reluctant to quit the relationship and may be prepared to do anything it takes to save your marriage. Thus, despite the anger, hurt, or panic you’re experiencing, you’re probably hoping that your partner changes his mind and thinking of ways you can stop him. However, if you’re truly determined to make the marriage work, there are many ways to reclaim the relationship since your husband might be ambivalent about his decision right now.

Here’s how you can improve the situation and open up the possibility of reconciliation:

Stay Calm and Control Your Emotions

You might experience a plethora of emotions after your husband announces that he wants a divorce. Still, it’s essential to keep your composure and healthily release those emotions. The kind of reaction you show can play a vital role in determining future events. Thus, make sure you don’t push your partner further away by showing disrespect, desperately pleading, or by threatening to take custody of your children. Additionally, reacting calmly might surprise your husband and make him change his opinion.

Give Them Space and Distance

Giving your husband the time and space to contemplate his decision is the best thing you can do right now. This is because your partner’s decision to continue the marriage shouldn’t come from guilt or pressure. However, it doesn’t mean you should distance yourself from him; you only need to back off a little by resisting the urge to talk about the divorce at every chance you get. Moreover, you can use this time apart to focus on yourself and work on areas that need improvement.

Pay Attention to Your Appearance

Going through all this heartbreak might have made you lose interest in taking care of yourself. However, to feel better, don’t ignore basic hygiene, put some effort into looking presentable, and pay attention to the clothes you’re wearing. Thus, invest your time and energy in improving your appearance, getting a haircut, hitting the gym, or anything that boosts your self-esteem. Additionally, looking attractive can play a massive role in rekindling the romantic feelings that your partner once had for you.

Consider Counseling

If you’ve succeeded in changing your husband’s mind, the next step is to consider couples therapy and effective communication. It can help you identify reasons that made the relationship weak and collectively work on those issues. Aside from counseling, try to create opportunities for restoring your marriage, like reminiscing over the past, appreciating each other’s company, and focusing on reconnecting with each other.

 

Finally, if none of these actions help improve the situation, you need to take this as a sign that your marriage is finally ending. No matter how painful this phase of life may be, accepting and letting go will allow you to move forward with life. Thus, reach out to friends and family to make it easier for you to cope with this change.

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Also Read: How Long Does it Take for a Man to get over a Divorce

How to Get Spouse to Move out During Divorce

Welcome to the topic “How to Get Spouse to Move out During Divorce.”

Getting a divorce can be a challenging experience. This process can become more stressful if you’re living under the same roof as your spouse so, you’d want the person you’re divorcing to move out of the house. Unfortunately, compelling an unwilling spouse to cooperate can be a difficult task, especially if you both have your names on the lease. Even if you ask them to leave politely, they may put up a fight due to their emotional and financial ties with the house. Thus, it’s recommended to stop living together during your divorce since it can become problematic for both of you. Although, instead of physically forcing them to vacate the property, you should handle things legally by getting a court order.

Here’s how you can get your spouse to move out during a divorce:

Negotiate an Agreement

Asking your spouse to leave the residence can be a daunting task, especially if they’re stubborn or haven’t accepted the fact that the marriage is over. However, before pursuing any legal action, try talking to your spouse to reach a mutually beneficial agreement. If you’re unable to convince them on your own, you may need to consult with a divorce attorney to help you. With the assistance of a lawyer, you could either go for a settlement contract or file a lawsuit to make your partner leave the marital residence within a specific time frame.

In Case of Abuse or Domestic Violence

If your partner was abusive, you need to prove your case in court to grant a restraining order or terminal possession of the house. If your spouse commits domestic violence on you, which includes harassment as well as threats and assaults, the court can force your spouse to evict the premises if you seek a protective order. Since the court sides with the abused person, you can easily kick out your spouse by getting legal help.

Filing a Fault Divorce Action

If negotiations have failed, your attorney might advise you to file a fault divorce action. Unlike a claim for a simple divorce, divorce from Bed and Board is a strictly fault-based claim, in which you are required to prove that your spouse did something wrong. To file this claim against your partner, you need to provide a valid reason, whether you’re accusing them of abandonment, cruel treatment, or adultery. However, this divorce does not equate to an absolute divorce. Rather, you would only be legally separated from your spouse when the judge orders the at-fault party to leave the residence.

 

It’s important to consider that it might take a long time to get a hearing from the judge, and you will need to provide solid evidence to back up your allegations, making the whole process lengthy and time-consuming. So, it’s better if you two agree to terms that satisfy both of you since if you have children together, you need to think about them as well. Thus, having a discussion about leaving with your partner is recommended for an amicable and peaceful separation.

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Also Read: How to Ask for a Divorce Peacefully

How to Get Over a Divorce You Didn’t Want

Welcome to the topic “How to Get Over a Divorce You Didn’t Want.”

Getting a divorce can be a devastating experience and coping with it can be extremely difficult. When you’ve spent a significant portion of your life with someone, separation means a change that you weren’t prepared for. It’s not unusual to feel depressed and have self-critical thoughts, especially if you’re not the one who wanted the divorce. You might keep ruminating about what went wrong as you try to make sense of things. Additionally, moving on can be challenging as you might start missing your significant other immediately.

Here are a few tips on ways to get over your unwanted divorce:

Accept Your Emotions

It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid and you can’t escape your emotions even if you want to. Give yourself time to process the heartbreak and loss you’ve experienced. You might be feeling regret and thinking of things you could’ve done differently. These thoughts are a part of grieving but to move forward, you will need to stop dwelling on the past.

Cultivate Supportive Relationships

Having a support system can help you through this transition. No one can truly understand the experience of divorce until they’ve been through it themselves. So, your friends and family might not understand the depth of your pain. However, being surrounded by well-meaning friends and an understanding family throughout the process might lessen your suffering.

Remember and Re-discover Yourself

The process of healing involves letting go and moving forward with your life. It’s common to lose yourself in the relationship you were in. Remind yourself who you were before your partner came along. Now that you have the freedom to explore yourself, try to learn new things that bring you joy. Spend your time doing activities that interest you which you couldn’t pursue earlier.

Acknowledge the Reality of Separation

The process of growing old teaches you that nothing is permanent and all relationships come to an end. To make peace with the fact that you’ve gotten a divorce, try to acknowledge that it’s a part of life however painful it may be. It doesn’t mean that you’re inadequate or unworthy of love.

Allow the Thought of Finding Someone New

Divorce doesn’t mean that your life has ended rather that a new chapter of your life has begun. You should be open to the possibility of finding someone new. It might seem impossible right now, but as more time passes remind yourself that you will eventually heal. However, jumping into a new relationship right after the previous one ends is an unhealthy way to fill the empty void. Give yourself time to understand the role you played in the end of your marriage and work through those issues before getting involved with someone else so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

Parenting Doesn’t Stop

It’s easy to get lost in the whole process of losing your partner and trying to get your life together afterwards. But if you had kids with your ex, you cannot stop being a parent to them. A part of being a good parent is teaching your children how to cope with changes and overcome difficult times. So, use this as a motivation to embrace the transition and help them deal with the separation of their parents as well.

These tips might not lessen the pain that you’re currently feeling but they can help you move on more quickly and gracefully.

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Also Read: How to Ask for Divorce

How to Ask for Divorce

Welcome to the topic ” How to Ask for Divorce.”

At the start of your marriage, you might have thought that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with the person you’re tying the knot with. However, now you may be thinking of asking for a divorce from your partner due to mistrust, unhappiness, unfaithfulness, or dysfunction. Regardless of how difficult the divorce conversation can be, officially ending your relationship is a step you need to take, to move on to the next chapter in your life. You might be afraid and worried about how you can bring up the topic before your spouse. Thus, if you approach the subject in the right way, you can avoid a messy breakup.

Here’s how you should ask for a divorce from your spouse:

Prepare Yourself

It’s expected for your spouse to react negatively when you tell them that you want a divorce. Every relationship is different, but having spent some years together, you might be aware of how your spouse will react and where they are emotionally. Since you’re the one who’s initiating the divorce, you can be better prepared for how you want to approach the topic. Thus, plan what you’re going to say, try to have the discussion in a quiet and private place, and make sure your children aren’t around. After peacefully stating the reasons for getting a divorce, let your spouse express their emotions and feelings.

Decide on a Plan Together

After the conversation has taken place, you and your partner might be feeling a whirlwind of emotions. You both might still care about each other even though things aren’t working out. So, to have an amicable separation, it’s essential to collectively develop a plan of action and decide how you want things to end. Thus, after you’ve both had the time to process this major decision, discuss and work out the finer details that are involved in a divorce. For instance, if you have children together, talk about how this divorce will affect them and what is the right way to move forward. Remember, there will be lots of things you’ll need to settle, so it’s better if you plan everything as a team.

Seek Help from a Therapist

Contrary to popular belief, therapy is not just for couples who want to save their marriage by working on problems. If you’re going through a separation, you can consult a counselor or therapist specializing in divorce. Going to therapy can help you two gain the clarity required to work through all the emotions by expressing feelings without any bias. There’s no reason to feel ashamed for seeking professional help to deal with this traumatic experience that might have taken a toll on your mental well-being.

 

Understand that this process can take quite some time. Thus, the course of action you take can play a significant role in how the relationship ends. If you go through a painful and messy seperation, it could cost you to lose child custody or marital assets.

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Also Read: How to Ask for a Divorce Peacefully